hope lies in beauty

the first thought Man had when he woke up was that of an inextinguishable happiness, after all, how else could he feel today, the day he would start looking for beauty? the fact was that Man was a beautyist, and a real fervent one for that matter, and nothing brought more joy and pride to a beautyist's life than the time when he or she could spend the rest of his or her days looking for beauty. For Man, that time had come: as of today, he would set out and devote himself to the mission of finding beauty; not any kind of beauty, mind you, but Beauty: the never-ending, never changing state of life, the one thing that left out nobody and welcomed everybody. And so, with such a happy quest on his mind, Man got out of bed, showered, prepared himself the most delicious french toasts he'd ever tried (truth be told, they were a little burnt, but he was not about to accept that in such a blissful day) and got himself ready for the first day of his hopeful quest.

The first thing that Man saw when he left his house was a poor woman, whose low moans that begged for money were only matched in pitifulness by the creature she was carrying in her back. Slowly, as if she only had so much life left within herself and didn't want to waste it on unnecessary movements, the woman turned her hazy black eyes towards Man, and reaching to him with her hand, asked him to help her, if only with whatever Man had with himself that he did not want anymore -"a paper, half a bottle of water" she said "whatever my kind master should gladly part ways with". Now, there is something you must understand about beautyists, and that is that they see beauty not only in the esthetic of any given object, but in the actions of life and destiny. For someone like Man, nothing could be more important than hope, and hope could only be obtained through beauty. A soulless man would most likely have turned away disgusted by the sight, but not our dear Man, for you see, Man thought that, by helping this poor lady he would in fact be doing something beautiful (that is, by giving this woman hope for the future) and so, Man gave this poor beggar and her son not only enough money to eat one day, but for one month, continuing his quest afterwards. Nothing more happened to Man that day, and so, while the sun settled in the horizon, he returned home, where after a light dinner and hot shower, he spent the night imagining the many faces Beauty could have.

The next day, the first thing Man saw after leaving the house once more, was the same beggar he had helped the day before, only this time she had two children with her instead of one. when he approached her, she turned once more to face him, once again asking for his help, Man, taking pity on the infants that stared at his clean shirt as if it were something out of a fairy tale, gave the woman enough to keep herself and his kids alive for three months. After such a beautiful action, Man decided to take a walk through a nearby church -he'd always found this almighty god quite curious, if not funny, but respected and loved the gardens of the buildings in which it was adored- where he met a pair of women who called themselves "nuns", who explained to him about their god, detailing the virtues of love and compassion he expected everyone to uphold. After a couple of hours talking with them, Man decided it was time to go home -he had found a little bit of beauty, and decided not to tempt his luck- and so, he bid farewell to his two new friends, and returned home, where he dreamt of love, hope and beauty.

The third day man found once more the beggar upon leaving his house, and again helped her and her now three children. Man thought it odd to find them on the street, for he had given her enough money to help a family for at least a month, but, who was he to question a mother's actions?, in the end, he thought, she was probably using the money to benefit her children. After a light walk, Man passed through a ballet studio, where he stopped at the window-side for a while, watching the ballerinas perform. He didn't talk to anyone, but fell in love with the music, the poses the subtle grace with which all the dancers seemed to move. He specially loved a young girl, a lass not older than sixteen summers, who seemed the fairest of them all. Anxious to dream of beauty through what he had seen today, Man returned home, and before the sun was completely set, he was already in bed, waiting patiently for Morpheus to take him.
But something was wrong that night, for Man could not sleep, could not dream. Not that day, nor the other, nor the next one.

For twelve nights Man lay awake, thinking, hoping to enter the world of dreams, where he felt so close to beauty. on the thirteenth night, Man suddenly realized what had kept him up so many days: Man had never seen beauty at night! and so, after getting ready, he opened the door, cheerfully walking outside, where he knew beauty was waiting.

He was wrong.
The first thing Man noticed when he left his house were what looked like three dogs on the street, cuddling one after the other for warmth, it took Man five seconds to realize those three were the beggar's children. when he approached them, they scurried like mice on the floor, and didn't come near until they saw a coin in Man's hand, promising he would give them more if they told him about their mother, they explained she went to heaven, and even though Man had never believed in their god or their heaven, he understood what they meant: the mother was dead. promising them to return and take care of them, Man hurried toward his friend's church, where he knew the kind nuns would help him in this situation. Unfortunately, two things impeded Man from reaching the church, the first one was that, passing through a dump in his way to church, Man saw to women he recognized as the nuns he knew. Aghast, he went to them and asked what had happened: with a tear in their eyes, and their hands entwined within one another, the women simply answered "the Lord asked us to search for and give love, but when indeed we obeyed him, his priests called us sinners, and banned us from our sacred home". Unable to think of anything else to tell them, Man promised to go and make the priests retract themselves, thinking this to be the only way to help both his friends and the children, and, had fate let Man reach the church, maybe it would have been so, but it happened that, one block away from his goal, Man read a sign that made his body shiver:

"Heaven restaurant, a piece of it right here on earth"

one block away from church, lay a fine cuisine restaurant named heaven, and inside its doors, a woman could be found, a woman with black eyes and mother of three.
Man could not stand to be there, and forgetting everything he ran as fast as he could, going to the only place left where beauty had been: the ballet room; had he not been so concentrated in his run, he might have seen the red and white car passing right beside him, and in turn might not been so shocked when, arriving at the place, he encountered the image of his love, his muse, being carried away into the same ambulance that had gone near him not so long ago, unconscious, with vomit still in her mouth.

After that, Man could take no more, he returned home, ignoring the crowd gathering outside the dance hall, he ignored the nuns and their shaky voices, asking whether they had been forgiven or not, he even ignored the three lumps that stood out in the shadows near his home, now sleeping the eternal slumber of the night, far from the reaches of their mother's arms. Once inside his house, Man went directly to his bed, and tried to picture Beauty once more. He found her, but it was not as he thought it would be, for Beauty had changed: she was now hungry, not because she could not eat, but because she did not want to, she was homeless, not because wasn't virtuous, but because she loved a love prohibited by a false god and punished by false priests, she looked resigned, conscious of being left behind; as this images passed through his head, Man suddenly realized one thing: Beauty did not leave to hope, and even though there wasn't beauty, there was still hope to be found; with this in mind, Man fell asleep.

the next day, Man was found dead, holding something in his hand and with a smile on his face, crushed within his fist, was a piece of paper that said:

"the only thing that never ends, that never changes, is the true hope that no matter what, no matter when, death shall take us all"